Beware of Bananas

In addition to being phallic and causing hair growth over the entire body….

• Every banana you eat brings you nearer to death.
• Nearly all sick people have eaten bananas, obviously, the effects are cumulative.
• An estimated 99.9% of all people who die from cancer and heart disease have eaten bananas.
• 99.9% of people involved in car accidents ate bananas within 60 days of their accidents.
• 93.1% of juvenile delinquents come from homes where bananas are provided regularly.
• Banana eaters born between 1920 and 1950 have been noted to have wrinkled skin, brittle bones and failing eyesight.
• And lastly, among the people born in 1879 who later dined on bananas, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

Now don't get me started on cumquats…..