The Year In Review

As the year 2019 comes to a close let me review of how it went for me...

January- The year started off as any other year in the last few, nothing notable comes to mind.

February- It started with my mother falling, cracking a rib which turned into a punctured lung, emergency trauma surgery, a 10 day stay in ICU, and eventually a move to a rehab facility.

March- Mom home for a short stint before another fall and a repeat of February. This time after the second surgery she refused to eat and drink for several days and we thought we were going to lose her. My daughter visited at the end of the month and things started to look better.

April- Mom moved to a rehab facility again, was weak from the two surgeries and did not respond to rehab, needed 24 hour care in the home along with being oxygen dependent.

May- Rehab stopped and her insurance would not cover in-home care, but would cover long-term care in a nursing facility. I started to explore moving to Colorado.

June- Finished 8 years at Coventry Public Schools, started to clean out my mother's house and made the decision to move west.

July- Bought a new used car, finished up at The Tobacco Shop, and took a 4 day drive to Glenwood Springs, Colorado. Everything I owned was backed into the car.

August- Unemployed and living in a strange city, but near my daughter once again, but away from my son.  Relationship with daughter was rough and second guessing my move.

September- Finally found employment, and relationship with daughter improving.

October- Maeve had to put her horse down and then 10 days later her dog, was heartbroken for and with her.

November- Maeve finds handsome young gelding and starts to heal, relationship with her getting much better.

December- Two weeks before the holidays was informed that my job was being eliminated at the end of the month. Panic starts to creep in...found new position and with a raise three days after Christmas.

Here is to a less turbulent 2020...

Colorado: The Land of the Directional Impaired

As I get my bearings in the area, I have become aware that the locals around here do not know or use cardinal directions correctly, or at least how I was educated with them.

Let me demonstrate some examples:

• If you go "up valley" you actually have to travel south...now most maps are laid out with north being the top of the chart. The rest of society will tell you that you go up to go north (As in, "I went up north this weekend."), not up traveling south to your destination. Everyone here will quickly remind you it is an "elevation thing." But if you are south of Aspen and have to go down in elevation are you going up or down?
• The "South Canyon" is located to the northwest of West Glenwood Springs. Everything north of the canyon is desolate and very steep, so not that approachable from that direction, so not sure why they call this the "South Canyon"? The other canyon into Glenwood Springs is to the east of South Canyon and is called Glenwood Canyon not "North Canyon."
• In defense of the locals, I will confirm that the Roaring Forks River flows north until the confluence with the Colorado River (which then flows northwest through the South Canyon), while most of the rivers in the northern hemisphere flow south.
• Secondly, I refer to being from "back east," but to get back east I have to travel to the front. You see they call the eastern slope of the Rockies here the "Front Range." I assume the name is from the time of the expansion west. But the majority of the weather here travels west to east, so can we call it a storm "front" if it is coming from the back of the front range? Just asking...

No one gets lost here with their localized aboriginal system of directions, I guess they are preserving an earlier civilizational way of thinking.

I Am Not That Smart

I was recently told, that just because I have a education that I think I am smarter than everyone else...WRONG!

I know that I not smarter than anyone else, but I am educated.

Let me explain...

My educational background is in engineering and the sciences. That academia has taught me to use inquiry, to do my own research, observe, to critically think, to conclude based on evidence and facts, the use of logic (not philosophical, but more binary based...yes/no, on/off, true/false), test limits and thresholds, to understand failure, adapt, and except criticism (this is the hardest one). This indoctrination has maybe made me sound dogmatic, but that is also wrong.

There are many that do not have an education that are way smarter than me. I have very little musical talent (or any kind of talent for that matter), I struggle with the English language and have never really been able to learn any other language outside a few simple phrases. During my formative years I struggled with many subjects in school and had times staying focused on the task at hand (still do) maybe I was ADD or ADHD? I was labeled dyslexic, because I flipped letters in words (dysgraphia), struggled with recognizing letter sounds, and decoding words. I still struggle with spelling to this day and have learned how to manage that some what. But I have other abilities that some do not, like the ability to visualize things in 3D (while studying chemical engineering my classmates used models to build compounds to help them isomerisms, I just closed my eyes and was able to see if they were cis or trans, and which way the rotated). At the same time I can not watch 3D movies without getting nauseous.

My education also fuels my sarcasm, my sardonic approach, and my cynicism, and this also contributes to my haughtiness. I try to have patience for those that do not process things quickly, but that is not always possible and rarely happens. My education also gets in the way of things, like the acceptance of religion, blind faith, psychology, symbolism, and libertarianism (oops, there is that sardonicism).

So no I am not nor do I think I am smarter than anyone else...

Independence Day

I would like to take this moment to give thanks to those that have done nothing for this country. To the people that have not served in the military, who complain about government, the society around them and have taken advantage of it all but have given nothing back. To those that have the support the troops bumper stickers, given to wounded warrior, or a petty tithe to their church on Sunday.

Your leader in the WH, is a prime example of this set. Draft dodger, tax evader, whoremonger, taker. Now destroying a country that he has done nothing for but has taken advantage of his entire life. His disciples worship his lifestyle and are blind to his evil ways. Even if slightly aware are quick to forgive or turn a cheek.

With this, our society has been corrupted to brink of no return, with alt-right gaining a foothold in spreading hate, with the treatment of innocent children coming to this country, with the setback of women's rights, the evangelism of the Supreme Court. It will take many many years, even decades, to undo the damage done by this man, his administration, and his supporters.

And for what end? That I do not have an answer. Personal gain for a select few, with an empty promise to so many for their allegiance. Many a despot has done this and it is now happening here, but we have learned nothing from previous similar situations.

Happy Independence Day

The Couch (Part II)

So I have now done two more session in my conquest to get myself back to a "normal" baseline in my own head. That is twice as many sessions with this counselor as with the first one.

First session with this counselor was basically a repeat of the first visit, a rehashing of everything and I guess that was to be expected. They seem nice, a little bit more clinical than the first one and more of what I stereotypically expected this was going to be.

Second session, cancelled as I pull into the parking lot...

Third session, delving into more of what is throwing me out of alignment. More sharing and how I attempt to manifest it all (which I guess I am doing it all wrong as I am just avoiding the issues instead of confronting them, but really just want them to go away so why would I confront them?). As we talk about "the plan", I mention that I will be leaving for Colorado soon and how will this "plan" work with all that. They look at me and ask that I am not here for medication...I said no. More talking about the plan, but no real solutions yet.

Now thinking back to that question about being there for the medication...WHAT THE FUCK?

Is this what it is all about? Is this what our civilization has developed into? "Better" living through chemistry? And what medication? I currently do not qualify for a medical marijuana card in the State of CT. So what medication?

Also, do I want an RX written by someone with a MSW? I personally have more education than they do, and my education is actually in science and engineering.

Lastly, do I want to wake around snowed all the time? Do I want to be on something that is going to destroy my liver enzymes and eventually my liver? Will this actually solve anything or just cover up symptoms?

This maybe continued...

The Couch

So how fucked up do you have to be to have your therapist cancel twice and then quit altogether on you?

I was hesitant to go in the first place, and now this is not really helping after just one visit. This was supposed to help with the stress, not add to it, or at least that is what I thought how it was supposed to work.

My reticence about going in the first place was, that I would share what was or what I believe was creating the stress (we will talk about this word in a minute) and they would tell me of course anyone with that going on will be anxious. In other words, "normal" (whatever that is) and there was nothing wrong (you are not crazy). BTW, I was correct and that was what was conveyed during the first and only visit so far, but at the same time they said that I need to work on "me." So another appointment was set up, along with a weeks worth of homework.

Homework completed (yep I am that guy). Appointment cancelled. Appointment rescheduled, appointment cancelled. Appointment rescheduled, notified that counselor no longer can see me.

I liked the person I was seeing, I felt we had connected. I shared, we talked, I asked questions (a...lot...of...questions), they answered. I liked most of their responses. It was pointed out that I would be a challenge because they thought I was very intelligent and that I approached everything from a logical point of view and expected outcomes and answers every time. I told them my academia background is in science and engineering. That is when they mentioned that I used the word "stress" a lot and while used as a layman's term in psychology, it was more of an engineering term (I am still going to use the term stress, no matter what).

The thing I liked from my session on the couch (actually a chair and not all that comfortable) was I was there for "mental health" not because I was mentally sick, just that I needed to get my brain in a more positive place and reduce the physical effects of the stress.

So I guess I am scheduled to start anew with another therapist, we will see if I can defeat this one.

<I found writing this post therapeutic>

Flying Restrictions

So I just booked a flight to surprise my daughter for her birthday (shhhh, I don't think she reads or follows this blog, but still don't tell). I use one of the many search and purchase sites on the interwebz and they provide great and easy service. This intinerary I will be using two different airlines, but that doesn't matter because they are all the same.

And they are now all out for themselves and have even developed more classes that can be booked for when flying. Used to be just First Class and Cabin, then they added Business Class and called Cabin, Economy. Now they have split Economy into three different levels; Economy, Economy Plus, and Basic Economy. Three different pricing levels and different amenities at each level.

I do not fly First or Business anymore, especially if it is on my dime, there was a time, but not anymore. So I have no idea what is offered for amenities at those levels. 

The three levels and three different prices in the Cabin, have the following as amenities as I understand now...

• Economy Plus- Can have a carry on and personal item, and they supposedly have an inch or two extra leg room, and you get to still choose your seat.
• Economy- Carry on at $25 extra charge and a personal item, no leg room, and you get to chose your seat.
• Basic Economy- No Carry on what so every, even if you pay the extra and a personal item, and you don't get to choose your seat.

Of course in all the cabin, you can pay the checked baggage fees...

I guess customer service in the airlines industry is dead, we are just cattle to be transported.

Why Do We Like Hot and Cold Food?

You take bite of piping hot pizza and burn the roof of your mouth, or you suck down a frosty milkshake and get 'brain freeze.' (Yes I know heat can burn and cold can freeze.)

Why as humans do we enjoy hot food? Or why do we enjoy cold food?

Now I am not talking about why we cook food, some foods can not be eaten raw or uncooked. And that some foods require a heating process to amalgamate or coagulate into a final food.  Also I am not talking about food safety and that we have to keep certain foods at temperatures for spoilage reasons.  I also understand that some foods are easier to digest in a warm or cold state. I am asking why we like foods hot or cold?

Other species do not heat their dinner to a temperature to enjoy, or chill it as a treat. Is it solely because man has the ability to control and use fire? That we can refrigerate items?

I personally know that we can be temperature sensitive, that hot or cold things can bother an achy tooth.

Why do we like our foods at different temperatures? I am sure there have been studies done, but I want to know what everyone else thinks.

Another Milestone Post

So starts another year, as this blog did a number of years ago...

Since then I have posted 200+ times and the blog has been visited 5000+ times. Not bad for a blog of nonsense and mutterings. People are intrigued by my loosely fact checked opinions and what is going on in my mind. Suckers...

So here is to another year and thanks for the continuing support...

Bring on the Biblical Floods

I am by no means a religious man, nothing I have seen has ever convinced that a god exists and has done anything for man. If something ever happens to prove the existence of a god(s), I will reevaluate at the time. But for now I remain a man of science.

But maybe it is time for any god to show its hand and bring back the floods. You know the one, that supposedly cleansed the planet of all sin, yes that one. 

Looking around the world and what is happening currently, now would be the time to eradicate the earth of its sins and sinners. The politicos and their ill regard to people, the surge of sexual predators being exposed, the average man's disrespect for the planet. 

Maybe some are right and we need not heed the climate change, let the seas rise and wash the land of the Gula, Luxuria/Fornicatio, Avaritia, Superbia, Tristitia, Vanagloria, Ira, and Acedia. (And why do they call them the seven deadly sins when there are eight?)

I am sure the world has been this way forever, just now the cesspool has gotten full and the lid has floated off it and we are being exposed to the shit mess we have made. Some maybe enjoying the fertilizer, but to many the smell has become unbearable.

Here is to an appearance of a higher power, now would be the time to prove an existence...

Colorado-isms Part 2

So last year when I travel west to see my daughter I did a blog about the various quirks I noticed of being in a different region and the people that live there. The following is a continuation and update of that first post.

• I meet a lot of people that live there now, but are not from there originally, including a lot of New Englanders
• I was picked out from not being a local for my vernacular and colloquialisms...use of 'wicked', and few other nor'eastern terms.
• I got to have a rare brew to find that is brewed in CT while I was in Colorado.
• My beard is now long enough to be accepted as a local, I know this because of the eye contact and head nod of approval from other bearded humans.
• I still have not seen any big horned sheep.
• The locals panic when they have no snow.
• The country roads in the mountains are scary, they are twisty and turny, narrow, and have no guard rails.
• My beard likes the climate there better, as I needed less to keep it manageable. 
• Buffalo and elk are delicious.

Until next time...

Friendship

So in the last week or so, in conversation, the concept of "friendship" has come up. Weird, yes.

One of the conversations was that neither of us had a best friend. We have many many friends, but not that "best" friend. Neither of us were concerned about it, and knew there are people we can rely on to help us out if needed, but we don't have that confidant who we need to bounce ideas or share intimate/secret stuff with. After a short discussion we were sure we do not need that confidant.

Another conversation was around that I do not have a girlfriend, even though they thought I did. (I found this really funny, but anyway.) Once again I do not feel as if I need a girlfriend in my life right now (long list of reasons for this, which I will not go into here). After my divorce and the adjustment to being me again, I discovered I like being me. Maybe that is why I don't have a best friend, I like being me (and others can not handle that).

The last conversation revolves around my daughter, and that she does not have a best friend (currently). She has had one or two in the past, but for reasons beyond her control (moves, new school, etc...) distance has put a damper on those relationships. She has friends she hangs out through common interest and/or school, but not that confidant. Being in middle school this can be tough and she does feel she is left out of things because she does not run with any squad (I think that is what they call it now), partly because she is not a follower and does her own thing, and does not care what others think about it. Her mother and I have always instilled this in both of our children, so I guess...but there is nothing wrong in that. Maybe this also why I don't have a best friend...and I have passed this onto my children, so sorry or your welcome, not sure which is correct.

So here is to friendship, whatever that may be...

BTW, I do have many friends that have the same warped twisted sarcastic bent thought structure that I have and many that I have numerous common interests with and I am far from being lonely.

Another Addition of Brain Smatterings

I had a conversation with a fellow blogger and she reminded me that I have not been blogging enough, so here is a conglomerate of things rattle around in my head...(I hope you are happy)

• HBM and Beard update: still have both, just trimmed everything even though I want it all longer and better. Just started to wax the 'stache again, even did a new run of homemade wax. Beard is now long enough that I really have to pay attention when eating food that requires no utensils or I am eating the beard too
• Frustrated with getting communication established with my daughter's school. I may be separated by distance, but that does not mean I am not active in her life. Do your job, because I am definitely going to try my best to make you do it.
• The country I am living in is going down fast, we have no strong leadership, and they are supported by people that are not awake enough to see what is happening. 
• Racism and bigotry is still alive, it is just now out of the closet once again. And I have friends that want to defend it via the 1st amendment. Maybe you people need to also look at the 5th and STFU, just saying...
• I bought a bicycle. This summer I have made a valiant effort of getting back into shape, round is a shape BTW, and have been good about getting out and exercising. I have tried running, but the knees are just not into it (too many years of officiating and long seasons of plate work), add in that I am over weight and old (once again too many years of plate work). So let me see if I remember how to ride a bike...what is that old colloquial?

'Nuff for now, until next time...

Let Me Guess: The Republicans Replacement Plan for ACA

The republicans have been trying to repeal the American Care Act since it was passed (60+ times in fact). Now that they have control and have already started with some rushed executive orders, they will most likely succeed. Of course they are saying that they will have a "better" plan to replace it and they will probably spin and sell a plan that everyone will believe is in everyone's best interest.

Here is what I believe they will give the American people and the republican supporters will think it is great...Annual rebates, yep that is their plan, everyone will get $750 (per person in your household). You will be able to use this money towards any health plan of your choice, and since there is no requirement to have health coverage you can do anything you want with the money (maybe that new upgrade on a few kitchen appliances, a new gun for the collection, pay off the holiday purchases on the credit card, maybe a nice long and well deserved weekend away), whatever the skies the limit.

Now lets look at the cost of this masterful plan and what it will all cost. Currently the approximate number of people that "were" forced into the healthcare marketplace is about 47 million. The number of people that still get healthcare from their employer is about 150 million. The total number of people in the Medicare and Veteran's systems is about 105 million. Adding that all up is around 302 million and about 20 million unaccounted for still in the US population.

So 302,000,000 times $750 is 226.5 billion dollars in refund monies. But lets be realistic about this, everyone knows that the republicans are not going to give rebates to those on Medicare and Veterans, so we can take that 105 million out of the equation, lowering the cost of the rebates to $147.75 billion. That is still higher than the projected average of $22 billion per year that the current system cost. Now we could lower the cost of the replacement plan by another $112.5 billion by not giving a rebate to those that get health insurance through their employer, this would bring the cost of the rebate program down to $35.25 billion. But those 150 million that get health insurance through their employer are hard working and deserve the rebates too, so we will leave that in, it is only fair...

So the $147.75B that will be added into the annual budget is so much better than the current $22B....now add the cost the government will have to cover for the uninsured that now come through the medical system because insurance is no longer a requirement...

Colorado-isms

So far my travels to see my daughter has truly been an adventure. So here are some things I have come across while in Colorado so far...

• This is the land of the bearded, I have much competition, not that it is a competition.
• If you think following self involved people on the sidewalk is annoying, try downtown Aspen, they are now self involved wearing and walking in ski boots. (Raise the ante because some are carrying their skis and poles and have no special awareness)
• They do not use cardinal directions or map position here, up means up in altitude and down is down in altitude. I am used to down meaning south....so you go up to Aspen even though it is located south of Glenwood Springs.
• There are many old time cigar ads still on the sides of the buildings in Aspen, but it is not a cigar friendly town.
• The people here a very friendly and the locals know everyone and their business...
• Their idea of snow removal is a lot different then back east, roads are made passable and sidewalks are not salted, traverse with caution on both.

Will post more as I come across them.

Traveling Observations Part Two

So yesterday turned a much longer day then I could ever imagine, and something I will remember until senility sets in. Without further ado here is some more of my travel escapades...

• After arriving in Denver 3 and 1/2 hours late, I was lucky enough to be put on another flight to Aspen. It was delayed due to weather in the Aspen area. Once we were allowed to board, we ended up sitting on the tarmac for an additional 90 minutes of wait time, while they unloaded 40+ bags of luggage and rebalanced the weight on the plane. Once airborne we took the 26 minute hop to Aspen, but the weather has changed again and visibility was about nil. The pilot made an attempt to touchdown, but could not get a visual of the runway so the try was aborted. I am not one to worry about flying but I was nervous, his pull-out game was strong, and we did some aerobatics to get out of there without crashing into any peaks all the while flying practically blind through snow clouds (yes you actually see sprarkly crystals like glitter inside the clouds). We made another nerve wrecking run and once again scrapped the mission and headed back to Denver. Of course the flight that was scheduled after us left first and was one of two of the nine  daily flights that actually landed in Aspen yesterday...
• All the other flights to Aspen, were either cancelled or booked (none made it by the way), United decided to bus us to Aspen at 6:00pm. Usually this is a 3, 3 1/2 hour ride (but the weather predicted it was likely to take about 5 hours), we met the storm just outside of Denver that was preventing us from landing in Aspen. This turned into a 10+ hour tour, that included 15-20 mph speeds and treacherous road conditions the majority of the way. Including a slow motion bus accident. And when I say slow motion, I mean both buses were completely stopped and the one bus slid sideways into ours. This held us up an additional hour and forty five minutes waiting for a wrecker to separate us and get a small repair to get us on our way again. From there it still was an insane 3 hour ride from the Vail area to a closed Aspen airport.
• By the time I arrived at Aspen at 4:30 am, all the local buses were shut down and not scheduled to start for another few hours, and then it would be an hour bus ride down valley to Glenwood Springs. I sweet talked the bus driver from Denver who was going to Glenwood Springs for some rest at a cheaper hotel than what is found in Aspen for a ride. So after getting everyone unloaded and back on the road for another hour long trek to my daughter.

Total travel time with the time zone changes was 30 hours door to door from my house to my daughter, total sleep time during that trip...90 minutes.

Epipen is a Prime Example

Mylan ,the maker of the Epipen is one of the many reasons I believe that allopathic medicine is a shame business like the majority of the rest of the medical field. Besides the price gouging that is being perpetrated on the citizenry of this here United States of America, they also have a very short shelf-life.

So after paying out almost a paycheck to have a remedy on standby in case of an emergency (reaction) to an allergen, these things will supposedly go bad on you after 24 months (2 years for those that do not have toddlers anymore). There have been some limited studies conducted that state the pens are still good after they have expired, but lose its effectiveness by a coefficient of P <.05 or a 0.63 loss of epinephrine bioavailibility in the injector.

You would think that anything that is synthesized, would be altered for a longer shelf life, but where is the profit in that? Especially when you mom is in charge of the school health program on the federal level and dad is a senator. Twinkies have a longer shelf life and they might actually contain natural ingredients (...I said might). Just throw some mercury and/or formaldehyde in it like all vaccines and it should extend the life for awhile (pick up your "no GMOs" bumpersticker on the way out the door and get the kids an organic lollipop at Whole Foods afterwards).

Now the medical industry convinces everyone we need one on the ready, because your kid had one bronchial attack mostly like caused by anxiety and fear of being stung...whatever happened to breathing into a paper bag? Many of us survived our childhood with that technique.

Still glad I have just as big a reaction to epinephrine as I do to Apoidea...

WTF, Monday? What did I do?

I am not one to complain about it being Monday, but every once in a while you have one of those days that it seems that nothing is going to go your way. For me it just happened to be a Monday. Don't worry Monday I will not discriminate against you, you did nothing wrong.

I will not going into details as some is very personal and the other involves confidential business matters. I had four very huge "fires" I had to deal with, and while all the "fires" seem to be out, none had a favorable outcomes. At least not at the moment, but things have a way of sometimes working out...

To basically sum it up....it is like riding a bike, except the bike was on fire and you are on fire and everything was on fire and you are in hell...and you survive.

Shoe Laces

So I need to replace laces on my favorite pair of boat shoes.

Figured I go to the local big box store and find what I needed. I was wrong.

After trying several other stores including a few shoe stores I could not find anything suitable to replace the worn and broken laces. So now I had to resort to the large online market places and still can not find anything satisfactory.

Seriously?

The soles are still in great condition, the leather uppers are just getting that perfect broken feel. The pair is truly agreeable with my feet, and I should be able to get another several years out of them.

Has the world we live in advanced so far down the path to a complete throw away society that one can not find simple shoe laces? Am I supposed to just throw out the shoes and buy a new pair? How do we expect to be kind to the mothership Earth, if we have to dispose of items that can refurbished, renewed, or replace simple parts to extend the life and use of a product? This is just sad, no wait, pitiful...

Consumerism, and more specifically capitalism, is ruining this world. It is the little things like this that is driving the human race to extinction. Built in obsolescence, this will soon become us, we will be obsolete (not that we not already become obsolete) and that the planet will not need humans, probably this big orb does not need us or really has never needed us. It existed prior to us and will most likely exist after we are gone.

I hope everyone is happy with our creation...

What is a Cubit?

The other day I made a snide comment and used the term cubit. I have known what a cubit is, but I thought I would share with everyone what it is and where it came from.

The term predates the bible and was used as a measurement by the Egyptians. Not sure if they used it for the erection of the pyramids, but probably for building at a smaller scale as it is not a large measurement.

The original Royal cubit was the length of the foreman's arm plus the palm of his hand. It was eventually standardized by the Pharaoh (not sure which one) and a black granite block was made and kept. All measuring tools were then calibrated to this instrument. The block measures out to about 20.67 inches in today's standard or 52.5 centimeters in the metric system.

Noah was told to build and ark and god gave Noah the dimensions as 300 cubits (length) by 50 cubits (width) by 30 cubits (height). Translating this out into modern dimensions, it would be 520' 8" long or 158.7m by 86'9.3" or 26.45m wide by 52' .8" or 15.87m high. And Noah had 7 days to build it. Noah was an Israelite and spoke Hebrew, why did god give him measurements in Egyptian? Noah was used to the finger-length, palm, span, ell, mil, and parasang in the measurement system of his time. Not only was the deadline tight, he was required to do some research and conversions, oy vey.

The Sumerians tell a similar flood story with a large boat that predates the bible, and there is no scientific evidence a flood of biblical proportions ever happening....