The Year In Review

As the year 2019 comes to a close let me review of how it went for me...

January- The year started off as any other year in the last few, nothing notable comes to mind.

February- It started with my mother falling, cracking a rib which turned into a punctured lung, emergency trauma surgery, a 10 day stay in ICU, and eventually a move to a rehab facility.

March- Mom home for a short stint before another fall and a repeat of February. This time after the second surgery she refused to eat and drink for several days and we thought we were going to lose her. My daughter visited at the end of the month and things started to look better.

April- Mom moved to a rehab facility again, was weak from the two surgeries and did not respond to rehab, needed 24 hour care in the home along with being oxygen dependent.

May- Rehab stopped and her insurance would not cover in-home care, but would cover long-term care in a nursing facility. I started to explore moving to Colorado.

June- Finished 8 years at Coventry Public Schools, started to clean out my mother's house and made the decision to move west.

July- Bought a new used car, finished up at The Tobacco Shop, and took a 4 day drive to Glenwood Springs, Colorado. Everything I owned was backed into the car.

August- Unemployed and living in a strange city, but near my daughter once again, but away from my son.  Relationship with daughter was rough and second guessing my move.

September- Finally found employment, and relationship with daughter improving.

October- Maeve had to put her horse down and then 10 days later her dog, was heartbroken for and with her.

November- Maeve finds handsome young gelding and starts to heal, relationship with her getting much better.

December- Two weeks before the holidays was informed that my job was being eliminated at the end of the month. Panic starts to creep in...found new position and with a raise three days after Christmas.

Here is to a less turbulent 2020...

Cowgirl Up

Yesterday was a terrible day for my daughter. She lost her best companion. She is devastated and truly heart broken. I am at a loss in trying to find ways in making it right for her.

I am amazed at her compassion and grit through all of this. Her love for something and her dedication is way beyond her years. Her ability to make the right decision is a credit to her as a human being.

Her horse broke the cannon bone and had damage in the long pattern bone in the right rear leg. It would have taken numerous surgeries over the next year to repair the fracture, and even then the horse would be unrideable.

When the vets informed her that even after all that could be done and the long rehab, that her horse would still be in pain. My daughter's response was no, no, no, no....and made the decision to euthanize her horse as she could not bear to see the animal she loved in pain.

That is a grownup choice for a 13yo woman.

I know how tough it has been when making similar decisions for the pets in my life. I still can not get to place to share my life with another dog after my last one. There will never be another one like my last golden and I truly miss her every day.

I know my daughter feels the same way right now, but I know that she will eventually find that next great love.

Thank you LaNa for being there for my daughter and always protecting her when the two of you were together in the ring.

Colorado: The Land of the Directional Impaired

As I get my bearings in the area, I have become aware that the locals around here do not know or use cardinal directions correctly, or at least how I was educated with them.

Let me demonstrate some examples:

• If you go "up valley" you actually have to travel south...now most maps are laid out with north being the top of the chart. The rest of society will tell you that you go up to go north (As in, "I went up north this weekend."), not up traveling south to your destination. Everyone here will quickly remind you it is an "elevation thing." But if you are south of Aspen and have to go down in elevation are you going up or down?
• The "South Canyon" is located to the northwest of West Glenwood Springs. Everything north of the canyon is desolate and very steep, so not that approachable from that direction, so not sure why they call this the "South Canyon"? The other canyon into Glenwood Springs is to the east of South Canyon and is called Glenwood Canyon not "North Canyon."
• In defense of the locals, I will confirm that the Roaring Forks River flows north until the confluence with the Colorado River (which then flows northwest through the South Canyon), while most of the rivers in the northern hemisphere flow south.
• Secondly, I refer to being from "back east," but to get back east I have to travel to the front. You see they call the eastern slope of the Rockies here the "Front Range." I assume the name is from the time of the expansion west. But the majority of the weather here travels west to east, so can we call it a storm "front" if it is coming from the back of the front range? Just asking...

No one gets lost here with their localized aboriginal system of directions, I guess they are preserving an earlier civilizational way of thinking.

Rebuilding Relationships

I love my daughter (and my son).

Many that know me, know how much I love my children. I relocated 2100 miles to be closer to my youngest (the oldest is grown and flown, and trying to do his thing, whatever that may be).

The first few days here were great, we got caught up, we laughed at stupid silly stuff, we enjoyed each other's company. I guess that is starting to come to an end. 

I now seem to be an annoyance, an extra, and even an embarrassment (her words). She wants to be left alone, and not do anything. I get that I am the disruption in her idyllic world here (horse, dogs, rats, snowboarding, friends, etc...), that she has an established routine and day to day. I just want to be part of that, but seems to me that there is not room for me right now.

I also get that she is a thirteen (13) year old girl, in 8th grade, in middle school. Crazy hormonal, emotional, and developmental rush for people her age, just trying to figure it all out. I am sure there are many pop psychology books (all backed by "science") and websites out there to show guidance through all this teen angst, both for her and me.

It is just bothersome that I feel like an outsider. That I can't find the door, let alone have the key to her world right now. I know I know, it give time, as she needs to adjust and get used to the idea that her father is now a part of her everyday life again, instead of just a FaceTime chat when both of us are conveniently available.

Has too much time passed, being separated by a distance, that we have lost something in our father/daughter relationship? Can it be regained or repaired or something new developed? How does one (me) go about it? Do I back off, do I push forward? She has her expectations, but I also have mine.

I will love her and support her, no matter who she has become or will become...LOve you Goose!

I Am Not That Smart

I was recently told, that just because I have a education that I think I am smarter than everyone else...WRONG!

I know that I not smarter than anyone else, but I am educated.

Let me explain...

My educational background is in engineering and the sciences. That academia has taught me to use inquiry, to do my own research, observe, to critically think, to conclude based on evidence and facts, the use of logic (not philosophical, but more binary based...yes/no, on/off, true/false), test limits and thresholds, to understand failure, adapt, and except criticism (this is the hardest one). This indoctrination has maybe made me sound dogmatic, but that is also wrong.

There are many that do not have an education that are way smarter than me. I have very little musical talent (or any kind of talent for that matter), I struggle with the English language and have never really been able to learn any other language outside a few simple phrases. During my formative years I struggled with many subjects in school and had times staying focused on the task at hand (still do) maybe I was ADD or ADHD? I was labeled dyslexic, because I flipped letters in words (dysgraphia), struggled with recognizing letter sounds, and decoding words. I still struggle with spelling to this day and have learned how to manage that some what. But I have other abilities that some do not, like the ability to visualize things in 3D (while studying chemical engineering my classmates used models to build compounds to help them isomerisms, I just closed my eyes and was able to see if they were cis or trans, and which way the rotated). At the same time I can not watch 3D movies without getting nauseous.

My education also fuels my sarcasm, my sardonic approach, and my cynicism, and this also contributes to my haughtiness. I try to have patience for those that do not process things quickly, but that is not always possible and rarely happens. My education also gets in the way of things, like the acceptance of religion, blind faith, psychology, symbolism, and libertarianism (oops, there is that sardonicism).

So no I am not nor do I think I am smarter than anyone else...

Exit Plan?

So as I get ready to end my CT chapter and start a new one in CO, I am starting to think about what I want to do before I leave.

After much consideration, it is not really doing anything in the state but more about foods. I am aware that there is no good pizza or bagels in Colorado (both from visiting and conversations with The Maeve), both of those are easily taken care of in getting my last few tastes of these two CT delectable treats. The other that keeps coming to my mind is seafood, I know with today's globalization, that seafood is available in CO but it comes with a heavier burden on the wallet. 

As I think about the various seafoods I enjoy (which is just about everything that comes out of the ocean that is edible), most fish ships well, as with lobster and other crustaceans.  I think that the toughest find in CO will be a really fresh raw oyster (Crassosterea Virginicas). 

I have been fortunate to have been exposed to oysters right off the boat from Norm Bloom and the Copps Island area in Norwalk. There is nothing like getting a bushel of them handed to you as a gift for some work done and eating them within 90 minutes from boat to mouth. 

I also am related the Talmadge family which had oystered the LI sound for decades, so I had been introduced and loved oysters for as long as I can remember. 

So I guess an outing or two enjoying some fresh oysters before departing is what I want to do, so who is in? 

Blue points, Ninigret, Pemaquid, Point Judith, Mystics?

BTW, they pair really well with scotch and/or bourbon.

New MacBook

I have been a Mac products user since just after the inception in 1984 (Apple started earlier than that, but Mac was launched in 1984 during the SuperBowl). I have had a few machines from an Apple SE, LC 475, iMac, MacBook, and now a MacBook Air. Also have bought a number of smaller Apple products like iPhones, iPods, and iPads.

While they are more expensive and elitist than the rest of the computing world, the quality of their products are second to none. They have been dropped, coffee soaked, hard disk crashed, and more. But all have been resurrected and continued on.

I got my MacBook in late 2009. Great machine and has gone through a lot. Three hard drives, a coffee incident, many OS transformations, and a few RAM upgrades.  Still an excellent running device, but the outer plastic shell has started to crumble and it has become fragile.

After some deep soul searching and many hours of research, both about the product and with my finances, I decided to purchase a newer refurbished laptop. With my past history with Mac products I am confident that this gently used and loved machine will bring a number of good years of work and enjoyment.

Elderly Care for Beginners

Taking care of aging parents is something that many of us are doing or will be facing very soon. With the rising costs of assisted living and skilled nursing facilities, it is prohibitive to just ship mom or dad off to a facility.

I am currently taking care of parent that is aging and has health issues associated with the elderly. Recently I have had to deal with several situations where quick thinking help was needed and I found myself only slightly prepared. So I think that there should be some kind of class or classes at the local Rec or Community Ctr or as part of the local hospital services that train people advanced first responder knowledge of dealing with the elderly at your home.

I even have a name for the course...."How to Get Mom Off the Floor"

The course will be broken down into various helpful units, some with great medical background and others with sound advice dealing with social areas. The following is a quick list (in no particular order) of some of the units or sub-units that should or need to be included.

• I fallen and can't get up, so what is next...
• Stopping excessive bleeding while on blood thinners
• Pill organization
• Taking the car keys away
• Keeping your patience when answering the same question for 100th time today
• Advocating and getting information out of medical professionals in terms you understand
• Checking vital signs and what to look for.
• Balancing their life with yours and vice versa
• Stain removal
• Remembering all the names of the EMS personnel
• How to make bland tasteless meals that are easy to chew
• Basic lifesaving skills
• How to install safety rails  and other safety measures around the home
• How to initiate a Siver Alert

I am sure there are many other topics that are needed and can be added.

Anyone have an idea if one of these training classes already exist and how I enroll, or is anyone willing to help me get this started...willing to share the credit, let me know.

Another Milestone Post

So starts another year, as this blog did a number of years ago...

Since then I have posted 200+ times and the blog has been visited 5000+ times. Not bad for a blog of nonsense and mutterings. People are intrigued by my loosely fact checked opinions and what is going on in my mind. Suckers...

So here is to another year and thanks for the continuing support...

Happy Holidays

Seasons, Herb

Colorado-isms Part 2

So last year when I travel west to see my daughter I did a blog about the various quirks I noticed of being in a different region and the people that live there. The following is a continuation and update of that first post.

• I meet a lot of people that live there now, but are not from there originally, including a lot of New Englanders
• I was picked out from not being a local for my vernacular and colloquialisms...use of 'wicked', and few other nor'eastern terms.
• I got to have a rare brew to find that is brewed in CT while I was in Colorado.
• My beard is now long enough to be accepted as a local, I know this because of the eye contact and head nod of approval from other bearded humans.
• I still have not seen any big horned sheep.
• The locals panic when they have no snow.
• The country roads in the mountains are scary, they are twisty and turny, narrow, and have no guard rails.
• My beard likes the climate there better, as I needed less to keep it manageable. 
• Buffalo and elk are delicious.

Until next time...

Friendship

So in the last week or so, in conversation, the concept of "friendship" has come up. Weird, yes.

One of the conversations was that neither of us had a best friend. We have many many friends, but not that "best" friend. Neither of us were concerned about it, and knew there are people we can rely on to help us out if needed, but we don't have that confidant who we need to bounce ideas or share intimate/secret stuff with. After a short discussion we were sure we do not need that confidant.

Another conversation was around that I do not have a girlfriend, even though they thought I did. (I found this really funny, but anyway.) Once again I do not feel as if I need a girlfriend in my life right now (long list of reasons for this, which I will not go into here). After my divorce and the adjustment to being me again, I discovered I like being me. Maybe that is why I don't have a best friend, I like being me (and others can not handle that).

The last conversation revolves around my daughter, and that she does not have a best friend (currently). She has had one or two in the past, but for reasons beyond her control (moves, new school, etc...) distance has put a damper on those relationships. She has friends she hangs out through common interest and/or school, but not that confidant. Being in middle school this can be tough and she does feel she is left out of things because she does not run with any squad (I think that is what they call it now), partly because she is not a follower and does her own thing, and does not care what others think about it. Her mother and I have always instilled this in both of our children, so I guess...but there is nothing wrong in that. Maybe this also why I don't have a best friend...and I have passed this onto my children, so sorry or your welcome, not sure which is correct.

So here is to friendship, whatever that may be...

BTW, I do have many friends that have the same warped twisted sarcastic bent thought structure that I have and many that I have numerous common interests with and I am far from being lonely.

Old School versus New School

Many of my generation, and the generations on either side of me, speak poorly of the kids today. How they have it easy, they don't know what it is like to work hard, everyone gets a trophy, back in the day...blah, blah, blah.

Working with today's youth and having kids myself, I can honestly say we are wrong and wrong on many levels.

I sit and listen to the discussions going on today amongst kids, I do not remember having conversations with my classmates about our ADD, ADHD, OCD, or ODD. Yea, sure they were not diagnosing students a lot back in the day with any of this, but doesn't mean it did exist, just look around at your friends now (I will wait, but not for long, hey look a cat, anyone want to go for coffee?).

Next we bombard our students with multimedia presentations, iPad research, and other electronic gizmos during the day, then preach that they need to cut back on screen time as they are sent home with a couple hours of homework that needs to be submitted electronically via Powerschool, Study Island, or Google Classroom. Is anyone else noticing this or is it just me?

Then we have the cojones to say that students get participation awards and every kids get a prize, etc.... But who is handing out these senseless awards? We are...is anyone else noticing this or is it just me?

Now add in the massive extra-curricular activities we place our kids in, playing chauffeur, from school soccer to rec league to premier league to travel team....don't forget they need to fit in a music or art class and the weekend horse riding lesson, because we want them well balanced. All the while, sitting on the sidelines and telling what needs to be done instead of letting them listen to their coaches and instructors...is anyone else noticing this or is it just me?

Yep they have it easy...is anyone else not noticing this or is it just me?

Addendum: Lets not allow them a choice when they can go to the bathroom or get a drink, but wait until they are 17 and demand they make a decision on where they want to go to school and what they want for a career (and be smart about it, damn it).

Yet Another New Year's Resolution

So I had another visit with my urologist today in the never ending battle to prevent kidney stones. My fluid intake and output are great, I need to maintain what I am doing in that area. I have lowered my sodium count, but it is not where she would like it, and the daily maintenance medication does not seem to be doing its job, so I no longer have to take that, good news right?

Well not really from my viewpoint. She would like me to cut out high purine foods from my diet which means mainly red meats (and of course the low sodium intake I am already doing). Oh Boy!

I am not the person that eats steaks and massive amounts of roast beasts, but I do love my burgers, all thick and juicy and loaded with various delectable toppings. I don't have to give them up entirely, but it has to stop as being part of my regular weekly diet.

So I will have to join everyone else and start a diet for the New Year. How mainstream...

It will be a resolution that I will have to keep for my own health. Unlike the HBM I started two years ago now, which I still have if I take the time to groom it. Add in exercise and I may lose some more weight. But it all seems so trendy...

So wish me luck...

Carrie Fisher, aka Princess Leia

2016 was a rough year, we have lost a lot this year. 

Bowie, Prince, Ali, Fidel, Gene Wilder, Alan Rickman, "Carol Brady" (why can't I remember her real name), Harper Lee, Arnold Palmer, Glenn Frey, Morley Safer, Leonard Cohen, Kenny Baker (R2D2), Dave Mirra, Ron Glass, Gordie Howe, Kevin Meaney, Ken Howard, Keith Emerson, George Kennedy, Vanity, with all those and more, it is Carrie Fisher that is hitting me the hardest.

I guess being a bit Jedi myself and stuck here on this planet, it may be the disturbance in the force that is throwing me off. 

I grew up in the Star Wars era. From the very first one, seeing it in junior high with my friends, not knowing much about it and walking out of the theatre wanting more. Introducing my kids to the trilogies and now waiting for the last features to slowly roll out, it has had a part of me the entire time and still holds my interest.

Princess Leia is the one of the first important characters we are introduced to in Ep. IV (the original) and was slated to continue to play a pivotal role in the yet to be released (and finished) chapters. Chewy is already angry with the loss of Han Solo, now having to add in Princess Leia...I feel sorry for anyone that gets in that Wookie's way (Kylo Ren are you paying attention, I would run if I were you). 

But seriously, I am close to tears with Miss Fisher's death and I do not even know the woman personally. I have a couple of friend's who have lost fathers very recently, so maybe it is a bottling up of all they grieving and emotion, but it is real. So "Thank You" Carrie Fisher for making my childhood a better experience, you will be missed.

Science versus English

I was covering a Science class the other day, and the kids were doing a few problems about velocity. One of the questions asked to calculate the velocity of a car braking down an exit ramp. The question was phrased using the word "acceleration."

A few of the students said the question should have used the word "deceleration" instead of "acceleration" as the answer is a decrease of speed. I reminded them that the definition of "acceleration" is a change of velocity and that change can be an increase or decrease in velocity, so the term "acceleration" is correct in its usage in the question, and "deceleration" is not a term regularly used in the physics world and by educated scientists.

The students then asked why we have the word "deceleration." I told them it is a word made up by English majors to justify their existence.

Writing

I have a job interview coming up in a few weeks and as part of the process I have to respond to a writing prompt. One of the reasons I started this blog was to have a reason to write and try to improve my voice in the written word. Having worked in the science/engineering world, I was trained to be a technical writer and not overly verbose (see example below).

My concern of writing the directed prompt is that I will be too short and concise, that I will not put enough color and redundancy into the piece, leaving the reader/grader thinking I lack basic writing skills and vocabulary.

I just have to relax and utilize the 30 minutes that will be allotted me to complete the task and what is necessary...although it is for a technical position, so maybe a to the point bulleted structure is the way to go...

Just Like That, It Was Gone

I had (key word is 'had') what I thought was a great post in my head yesterday. But I was too busy to stop and write it down. Didn't even jot down some simple notes; let alone scribble the whole premise on a piece of scrap paper.

This morning woke up and can't remember what it was at all, not even the topic.

Maybe it never existed at all and I only think I had something to write about. But I remember doing this a number times before, a few times the thought has seeped back to me, so maybe I will get lucky and it will return. I am blaming old age and the early onset of senility.

So in the mean time here are some random brain musings, quick before I forget them...

• I found my old shaving mug with soap and boars bristle brush, trying to decide if I should pack it or not. Currently I have no use for it, as I am 'stached and bearded, but this may not last forever.
• The weather has been good so far this summer, no prolonged heat waves yet, could use some more rain for the gardens, hope it holds for when I have to travel.
• Yesterday I shopped at three different places, all three transactions ended in even dollar amounts (50.00, 11.00, and 24.00), not sure what the harbinger of that is...
• Struck the nerve of someone I respect the other day. Not sorry that I did it, sometimes something needs to be said, and based on the reaction, what I said bothers them too. I do feel cheap that I went there, but they were trying to pin me in a corner, so the animal instinct kicked in and I used it.

Well here is to that other post idea coming back to me, Cheers

Adventures at DMV, End of an Era, and a Milestone

Adventures

I had to go to CT Department of Motor Vehicle (DMV) to transfer registration and ownership. I was warned ahead of time that the wait was horrendous and that I should be in line at least 30 minutes before opening and to still expect to wait 2 hours.

Arrived at 8:45 for 9:15 opening, number at 9:22, served at 9:53, and completed with everything at 10:13. So in and out in 90 minutes, not bad...

Era

The end of the era is I no longer own and drive a Saab, and will probably not have the chance to again. Maintenance was getting too much, along with expense. Also the mileage was getting up there. They also stopped making them in 2013. I have now gone back to a Subaru wagon. Older, but very low miles, and easier to get parts and repairs done.

<This was the reason for the adventure at DMV>

Milestone

So the blog has had its 3,000 visitor, not extraordinarily robust in the traffic in the 3 plus years of existence, but hey I will take what I can get.

Thanks for stopping by and paying attention, I appreciate it.

Underrated IMHO

So the other day I posted the new RHCP (Red Hot Chili Peppers) video and someone commented that they are a very underrated band in the sense of their innovative style and longevity in the industry, so this got me thinking that maybe I should do a list of who I think are bands or musicians that are underrated, IMHO. With further ado....(in no particular order).

• So yes, the RHCP, solid musically and have remained true to their style and continue to produce great music. Never became that main stream, but many are aware of their songs.
• The Gorillaz, great concept (truly cutting edge in every way), and range over a variety of music genre. Hip-Hop, Rap, Techno, EDM, Jazz, Blues, and Rock. Again, not main stream, but people recognize their sounds.
  
• Traveling Wilburys, comprised of legends in the industry; Dylan, Orbison, Harrison, Lynne, and Petty. Short lived, but had all the right talent. And the collaborations from this grouping, unreal.
• Joan Jett, okay I am biased as I have met her and partied with her, but she was and still is one of the greatest female rockers of all time. Who doesn't love Rock-n-Roll.
• Living Colour, once again I am partial to these guys, as I have met them, partied with them, and I am in one of their videos. When the opened for the Rolling Stones' Steel Wheels tour, they blew everyone away.
• Taylor Swift, just kidding...
• Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits), underrated in so many ways, his anthology of music is huge and many are not aware of his sound track work, along with solo career and of course the Nottingham Hillbillies. 
• Violent Femmes, everyone knows a VF song, they just forget it until it is played and memories come flooding back.
• Stray Cats, nothing needs to be said here, pure hep cats.

I know I probably have more and everyone has their own opinion, but these are mine for now. Maybe I will do the most overrated IMHO next time...