Exit Plan?

So as I get ready to end my CT chapter and start a new one in CO, I am starting to think about what I want to do before I leave.

After much consideration, it is not really doing anything in the state but more about foods. I am aware that there is no good pizza or bagels in Colorado (both from visiting and conversations with The Maeve), both of those are easily taken care of in getting my last few tastes of these two CT delectable treats. The other that keeps coming to my mind is seafood, I know with today's globalization, that seafood is available in CO but it comes with a heavier burden on the wallet. 

As I think about the various seafoods I enjoy (which is just about everything that comes out of the ocean that is edible), most fish ships well, as with lobster and other crustaceans.  I think that the toughest find in CO will be a really fresh raw oyster (Crassosterea Virginicas). 

I have been fortunate to have been exposed to oysters right off the boat from Norm Bloom and the Copps Island area in Norwalk. There is nothing like getting a bushel of them handed to you as a gift for some work done and eating them within 90 minutes from boat to mouth. 

I also am related the Talmadge family which had oystered the LI sound for decades, so I had been introduced and loved oysters for as long as I can remember. 

So I guess an outing or two enjoying some fresh oysters before departing is what I want to do, so who is in? 

Blue points, Ninigret, Pemaquid, Point Judith, Mystics?

BTW, they pair really well with scotch and/or bourbon.

The Couch (Part II)

So I have now done two more session in my conquest to get myself back to a "normal" baseline in my own head. That is twice as many sessions with this counselor as with the first one.

First session with this counselor was basically a repeat of the first visit, a rehashing of everything and I guess that was to be expected. They seem nice, a little bit more clinical than the first one and more of what I stereotypically expected this was going to be.

Second session, cancelled as I pull into the parking lot...

Third session, delving into more of what is throwing me out of alignment. More sharing and how I attempt to manifest it all (which I guess I am doing it all wrong as I am just avoiding the issues instead of confronting them, but really just want them to go away so why would I confront them?). As we talk about "the plan", I mention that I will be leaving for Colorado soon and how will this "plan" work with all that. They look at me and ask that I am not here for medication...I said no. More talking about the plan, but no real solutions yet.

Now thinking back to that question about being there for the medication...WHAT THE FUCK?

Is this what it is all about? Is this what our civilization has developed into? "Better" living through chemistry? And what medication? I currently do not qualify for a medical marijuana card in the State of CT. So what medication?

Also, do I want an RX written by someone with a MSW? I personally have more education than they do, and my education is actually in science and engineering.

Lastly, do I want to wake around snowed all the time? Do I want to be on something that is going to destroy my liver enzymes and eventually my liver? Will this actually solve anything or just cover up symptoms?

This maybe continued...

The Couch

So how fucked up do you have to be to have your therapist cancel twice and then quit altogether on you?

I was hesitant to go in the first place, and now this is not really helping after just one visit. This was supposed to help with the stress, not add to it, or at least that is what I thought how it was supposed to work.

My reticence about going in the first place was, that I would share what was or what I believe was creating the stress (we will talk about this word in a minute) and they would tell me of course anyone with that going on will be anxious. In other words, "normal" (whatever that is) and there was nothing wrong (you are not crazy). BTW, I was correct and that was what was conveyed during the first and only visit so far, but at the same time they said that I need to work on "me." So another appointment was set up, along with a weeks worth of homework.

Homework completed (yep I am that guy). Appointment cancelled. Appointment rescheduled, appointment cancelled. Appointment rescheduled, notified that counselor no longer can see me.

I liked the person I was seeing, I felt we had connected. I shared, we talked, I asked questions (a...lot...of...questions), they answered. I liked most of their responses. It was pointed out that I would be a challenge because they thought I was very intelligent and that I approached everything from a logical point of view and expected outcomes and answers every time. I told them my academia background is in science and engineering. That is when they mentioned that I used the word "stress" a lot and while used as a layman's term in psychology, it was more of an engineering term (I am still going to use the term stress, no matter what).

The thing I liked from my session on the couch (actually a chair and not all that comfortable) was I was there for "mental health" not because I was mentally sick, just that I needed to get my brain in a more positive place and reduce the physical effects of the stress.

So I guess I am scheduled to start anew with another therapist, we will see if I can defeat this one.

<I found writing this post therapeutic>